We often think of the wisdom that experience brings us. Here is what I have learned about beauty and fashion that I wish I had known sooner.

(1) That "beautiful" is not a synonym for sexy and that it was possible to be thought beautiful, even in a hip nightclub, without the big reveal.

The truth, that I doubt I was even aware of then, was that it was my heart I wanted people to see.

Your greatest beauty is in your smile and your eyes. Your smile radiates what is in your heart your personality and who you truly are. Your eyes are the window to your soul, and they shine forth your light and beauty from within. Carol Tuttle, Dressing Your Truth: Discover Your Personal Beauty Profile

(2) That black does not look good on everyone and that if I insisted on a mostly black wardrobe, I would actually be hiding my beauty, not expressing it. You know how the story goes: it's slimming, we all need a little black dress and it hides a multitude of sins.

Unfortunately, that is not true for everyone. Only a small number of women can wear black well.

(3) That soft, muted colors do not make me look mousy and powerless. Red might be a power color for some women, but the bright, vivid red I hid behind was not a power color for me. It wore me and got lots of compliments, but the real me was not noticed peeking out from behind it.

For my energy type, softer colors are the ones that empower me and express who I really am.

(4) That the power suit, with structured lines and shoulder pads and tapered skirts starched and ironed before I headed out the door each morning to work were not powerful for me. That based on my energy type, my best suit would have been a swing jacket and flowing knit skirt, instead.

(5) That I really was beautiful. That the whole time I knocked myself out reading fashion magazines and following the advice as closely as possible, learning everything I could about how to become beautiful, was unnecessary.